bibliomancy for a balsamic moon


“..in short, I am calling for a return to memory as more than mere mental “flotsam” – as more than a mere engrammatic inscription of the left-overs, the rags and tatters, or our lives. Remembering, rather, is soul-making, is its very basis. As such, remembering needs itself to be remembered – just as soul itself needs to be remembered in this soulless time of ours. Moreover, remembering needs a re-recognition, a recognition not accorded to it since the Greeks, who made Mnemosyne one of the original Titans, the Mother of the Muses, and a partner of Hermes himself…” (Edward Casey, from Memory, Time and Soul)

OK, I admit I’ve been more than just a bit difficult of late. It happens every year, around this time – when I feel the weight of something I’m yet to understand pushing down on my other-times contentment. The cosmos, with Mars and Pluto doing a spaghetti western style showdown somewhere up there, seems to conspire. Outer events show me inner turmoil; other’s ideas of me overtake my hard-one psychic autonomy.

But, I tell myself, these are all just stories about how things are with me, and one of my new year’s resolutions is to whine less, to spend more time in gratitude and to show others the best of me.

Right now the moon is dark, waning toward the new moon, and real astrological new year, on Tuesday. So its time to throw out the junk and clear space for the new.

In taking stock I’m noticing that memories keep surfacing, some of which are not the kind I want to keep – delving into them seems akin to listening to gossip – it just makes me feel like a bitch. But, like eating the cheese you know will make you bloated and sluggish, that cheese is going to be eaten, all of it, and regrets can come later. So I let those fiendish memories surface from their deep places and try very, very hard, not to get caught in them. I try to find ways of clearing them out and ‘letting them go’, and like mould they keep coming back.

There’s a bit of wisdom that says its impossible to ‘let go’ of thoughts and memories – that they will let go of their own accord when they’re ready.

So, I wonder, what is the value of ‘throwing out the trash’ both metaphorically and literally?

Maybe there’s something important about it, after all? Maybe we need those dark, mould filled caves-of-memories? Would the world – the Earth – be a better place without them? It seems to me with all the ‘space clearing we do – all the throwing out of the trash – we’ve just been moving things around.

There are no accidents – I can almost hear my friend Robyn laughing right now and telling me ‘Dan, you’re the only one here’ – my last post was about the ego (I’ve come to think of as Mother Bone Maker) and how She ‘makes’ or brings into form the wisps of thought that are our stories, our ideas. This bibliomancy brings another element in – that memory, far from keeping us living in the past, makes us more of who we are now.

So, rather than ‘throwing out the junk’ I think I’ll revision it, have another look and see what it really is.

Who knows, maybe the answer to the weightiness I’ve been feeling is in there, in that cave, necessary and divine.

3 thoughts on “bibliomancy for a balsamic moon

  1. Your writing is profound and insightful as usual … each corner and dark crevice on your journey that your share, inspires and evokes (strangely enough I see that as the by line of your blog these days) my own ‘digging’. For this I am incredibly and truly grateful.

    Also incredibly grateful and feel very blessed for the humble parcel that arrived in the post today … my immediate reaction was to tell you that you were naughty for sending something – then decided that this year, true to my theme of authenticity – I would be gracious and moreover, overcome with gratitude (sat with tears in my eyes in the driveway for a few moments!)

    I am beginning to understand now all that karma – all what I have graciously and without pretence invested out into the universe … I am hoping will be returning this year (and has already returned!) I like the idea of the threefold rule even better – that it will come back thrice upon me … who decadent!

    It’s funny you talk about clearing spaces etc – as that’s exactly what I have been doing today and for the past two days. I decided that I can’t have a new ‘place’ to write and be creative, but I can have a new ‘space’. I’ve hauled out at least two boxes of crap that is just no longer needed and in doing so found the notes that were given to us years ago in the creative writing course that I did – all wonderful advice and wisdom for – you guessed it – getting published!!

    And now the space is empty – it needs a good dust and clean – I think I’ll even sugar soap the walls down – I bought my first ever smudge stick and will truly clear the space … and then tomorrow, on the new moon will begin putting it back together.

    The idea became that I didn’t want it to be a ‘work space’ because that’s what it has been – my magazine space and whilst I have been writing there – its never been about writing that space … so I want it to be a ‘creative space’ … inspired by JC into making it a colourful and playful area. I wish I had have taken before and after shots.

    And in regards to pink clay for the face mask – I’m guessing it would do the trick too. So love pink clay …. I had one of those Red Earth masks years ago in the early 90’s that was my all time favourite – it was REAL mud!

    And I’m thinking that I need to be burning germanium (balance) and frankinsence (transformation) for the next couple of days, because although I’m not reeling from the change, as much as I was a month ago …. I’d like to put a little balance into the picture.

    Mag work going SLOW – last lot done on New Years Eve .. got into a hissy fit and probably the reason why I haven’t been back to it. Issues with article that refuse to fit nicely (despite my best efforts), artists who wont return my emails, an add that wont work because I dont know how to important the relevant font … and damn it – just want it done and finished – argh!

    Kirsten collected all the support group stuff today … so that is one thing that’s truly handed over … and am grateful for. I think I’m aiming for it all to be done by Full Moon and I will celebrate properly the end of it all.

    SIGH!!!
    Sorry didn’t mean for this to be all about me … I will as usual print off your blog entry so I can digest it at ease, away from the computer, because as well as I write on screen, my reading and comprehension still sucks from the screen.

    Are you intending to be back to do Friday Fiction again … and has your 3am Epiphany arrived yet?

    Have missed your regular blogs … and need to go and see if there is any more writing over on your other blog.

    Hang in there and enjoy the time with your cave. I’ll have to think and reflect a little more before I can write any more on your post!

    Love
    xxxx

  2. dear jodi – you’re welcome, always welcome πŸ™‚

    no, I haven’t done any more Hava, although I have half an entry waiting for completion, and will get to that before the new moon.

    as for fiction friday, I think not – prefer Writer’s Island as I can’t help myself – I NEED to EDIT!! My fiction friday posts took so long and were counter-productive while working on producing volume.

    I’m gestating one more blog post for this lunar cycle, so I better get on with it..

    always a pleasure to get a comment from you Jodi! xx

  3. dear jodi – you’re welcome, always welcome πŸ™‚

    no, I haven’t done any more Hava, although I have half an entry waiting for completion, and will get to that before the new moon.

    as for fiction friday, I think not – prefer Writer’s Island as I can’t help myself – I NEED to EDIT!! My fiction friday posts took so long and were counter-productive while working on producing volume.

    I’m gestating one more blog post for this lunar cycle, so I better get on with it..

    always a pleasure to get a comment from you Jodi! xx

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