“After a long rain, we joyously watch the heavens clear.
The sun and moon grow slowly brighter.
The gloomy days are over, so be happy and joyous.
You will bound through the Dragon Door in one leap.”
You have found the hidden treasure. Open the spirit world and enjoy its riches.(The Kuan Yin Oracle, 100 Poems of the Goddess, Karcher: 20)
Sitting here sipping fennel tea, which is said to have 22 separate healing qualities as well as being sacred to our Trickster friend, its a relief to be almost to the end of Mercury’s retrograde phase.Oh OK, it hasn’t been too bad. There was costly work to be done on the car – just like last time the god of travellers went AWOL – and two computers went down (I won’t bother getting them fixed until we are well out of the danger zone). There was plenty of miscommunication, double-crossed wires, forgotten appointments, late arrivals and more than one person laughed with me about having missed a plane. Over all, though, it has been a good time to go back over some old ground. In one situation where I’d previously had difficulties with billing I discovered money owed to me (it has been delayed in its return, but it must surely be on its way!).
Mercury sure does love to move things around. Today I heard someone say that the planet itself is a big chunk of iron – that would make it the most powerful magnet I’ve ever heard of.
Yes, I feel the need to renew my sense of equilibrium, to get my polarities lined up.
It occurred to me last night after receiving a comment from a reader here that in spite of what others may expect me to project into the world – a stronger vision, a more realistic representation of my self, or what ever – that the swing between one way of being and another doesn’t sit comfortably with me. What I’m saying is that I hope never to be one way or another but to be both.
There are situations in life that require a strong manner of speaking, but that doesn’t mean that I am not also scared. Just because I accept the consequences of my past actions doesn’t mean that I don’t also feel wronged. I’m acutely aware that for every victim a bully is constellated, that heroes call foes into being – every archetypal pattern demands its counterpart be played out. I’ve found that the way through these mythical forces is simply to walk the path of non-resistance. Acknowledging the gods, if you like. Because they’re alive and they will one way or another extract their dues.
Too much energy is wasted in denial – ‘I’m not a victim’ is something I’ve told myself over and over again. And so over and over again life has shown me that is exactly what I am. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while you know that there are things going on here that are challenging me, that sometimes I let these challenges send me plummeting. I go down alright, without fighting. I won’t fight anymore.
Resistance just creates more of what isn’t wanted.
So with that in mind, in these last moments of Mercury’s ‘time out’, I reckon I’ll just go with whatever is. If I’m down, I’ll be resting; if I’m strong, I’m using it. And if someone wants to tell me I’ve failed, I’ll listen – and accept that I can only do as I do.
Hm, and I’ll have another cup of magical fennel tea. Want one?