everything I need…

Need is such a problematic word, isn’t it?

Need, want and desire – these three are tricky things, often involving ‘being clear’, writing lists, sorting through, taking action and letting go. There’s a culture springing up around these terms, including a psychological and spiritual ‘correctness’ meaning that they must be clearly distinguished from other human-invented qualities (such as desperation). Or so it may seem.

There was once a man in my life who’d occasionally say to me ‘you’re a bit needy, Dan‘ – completely baffling me as I lived what I believed to be a self-contained existence, independent in so many ways. He’d then go weeks without calling or answering my calls just to prove how needy I was. As it turned out all he proved was how much I didn’t need him. (a Scorpio, what more should I say?)

From time to time, on this blog, I state that I ‘have everything I need’, meaning that in every situation Life has shown me that there really is no need to worry about there Not Being Enough. Of anything. If I need it, I have it – or will have it soon. If I have it, then I need it – until I Don’t Need it Anymore. It works like that, as simple as that, every time.

But, like the guy who decided for us both that my needs are a bad thing, occasionally something ‘negative’ does show up in my experience. My faith in my Theory of Needs is then tested. I have to question, after an initial struggle with emotion (aka a bit of a sook), why would I need what I don’t think I want?

The whole question has been on my mind lately as I’ve been going through some turbulence, and the only answer I have is this;

Any external circumstance that triggers an unexpected internal reaction (i.e. so called ‘negative’ emotion) is an opportunity to see something else about myself.

Under these circumstances, other questions arise; how much of a fight is going on with reality? That’s a battle that can’t ever be won. Does there have to be an underlying reason or spiritual lesson for what is? (how exhausting!) And if I’m Creating My Own Reality, why on Earth would I sign up for Trouble?

Acceptance seems to be the key that opens all doors – and locks those that are better closed against what is no longer serving a purpose from entering in again.

More and more I see there’s a part of each of us that knows what’s best, whether we think we want or need it or not. Some call that part God, others call it The Universe, the Higher Self, Spirit or Soul. Whatever we call it, Its got it all covered, so best step aside and pay attention (or risk having to go through it all over again).

And, as I keep reminding myself, if I have everything I need, then I need all the emotions and experiences that I have, so its all alright. OK?

That’s got to be all I need to know right now.

6 thoughts on “everything I need…

  1. “I’m Creating My Own Reality, why on Earth would I sign up for Trouble?”

    Well, if you take the biblical angle. We have eaten the fruit of knowledge and for that we are condemned to a life of suffering.

    Before you dismiss it as christian poppycock. Think about this, Eve rebelled. No sane person would stand an eternity in a sanitised teletubby land.

    God has created us in her image and the old bitch expected us to rebel. Pain and suffering is what we do best because a candle burns brightest in the darkest night.

    PS. Great photo in profile.

  2. “I’m Creating My Own Reality, why on Earth would I sign up for Trouble?”

    Well, if you take the biblical angle. We have eaten the fruit of knowledge and for that we are condemned to a life of suffering.

    Before you dismiss it as christian poppycock. Think about this, Eve rebelled. No sane person would stand an eternity in a sanitised teletubby land.

    God has created us in her image and the old bitch expected us to rebel. Pain and suffering is what we do best because a candle burns brightest in the darkest night.

    PS. Great photo in profile.

  3. lol Wulfy, God has a lot of explaining to do ๐Ÿ™‚

    I’ve just spent the entire weekend listening to Eckhart Tolle CD’s and my mind is on overload, in spite of him telling me that Being arises out of not thinking (ya, but don’t try not to think, it is impossible).

    I can’t help but feel that if we have a mind/thoughts (and yes, the urge to rebel) then we need them – although I’m not sure that suffering is entirely necessary. Well, at a certain point you realise that a little suffering is ok, acceptable, but living life from a standpoint of extreme suffering is boring as batshit, to ourselves and others.

    nice to see you again, it has been too long xx

  4. lol Wulfy, God has a lot of explaining to do ๐Ÿ™‚

    I’ve just spent the entire weekend listening to Eckhart Tolle CD’s and my mind is on overload, in spite of him telling me that Being arises out of not thinking (ya, but don’t try not to think, it is impossible).

    I can’t help but feel that if we have a mind/thoughts (and yes, the urge to rebel) then we need them – although I’m not sure that suffering is entirely necessary. Well, at a certain point you realise that a little suffering is ok, acceptable, but living life from a standpoint of extreme suffering is boring as batshit, to ourselves and others.

    nice to see you again, it has been too long xx

  5. ok, you must be right about the suffering – yes, its when suffering gets the most intense is when you start looking for a way out of misery…

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